I Broke Down The Walls Of Me, I’m So Fucking Happy [123]

Hey Hey All. I’ve been busy. Sorry. This weekend was quite an amusing one. Friday night, me and Billy closed. We were supposed to go see “Queen of The Damned” with Rob. But, he got sick. So after work, Sal gave us a ride to my house. From there Miriam took us to Blockbuster. I bought 2 DVD’s (American Pie 2, and Anti-Trust). Billy got Evil Dead 2 on VHS. We went back to my house, cuddled in my bed, and watch Ghost World. I rented that by the way. After that we laid down. Talked. Had good sex. Talked. Went to sleep. The next morning, (or afternoon, should I say) I woke up and went downstairs. MY DVD’s CAME IN THE MAIL!!! WOO!! I got SE7EN, Fight Club, Coyote Ugly, Crazy/Beautiful, and The Crow: City of Angels (I have completed my collection). It was a good start. I did laundry, cleaned my room, and Billy finally woke up at 5 PM. I called Rob, he came and got us with Jackie. She wasn’t really into coming out, but I convinced her. We went out to eat at a Chinese buffet. I wasn’t really hungry but I made myself eat a few pieces of chicken. Then we went to FYE. I bought “O”, The new Smashing Pumpkins DVD, and The soundtrack to “Queen of the Damned” IT”S AWESOME!!! We went and saw “Queen of The Damned” IT ROCKED!! HEY ROB, “WANNA BUY SOME TICKETS TO THE SHOW TONIGHT??” It was the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. But I love vampire movies, so that made it even better. The movie got out at 12. None of us were tired. None of us wanted to go home. So, we said “fuck it” and we went to Ocean City. The ride was fun times. New expeirences and all that jazz. It was a very, how should I say this, “sexual” journey. We went to Dunkin Donuts once we got into OC. I’m only mentioning it, cause all of us were questioning why we went all the way down there, and Rob pointed to the sign on the Dunkin Donuts van. It said “Dunkin Donuts: It’s worth the trip.” It was a co-ink-i-dink. We stopped over my mom’s house. Yes, I went and saw my mother at 3 am. It was funny. Faust (mom’s boyfriend) kept offering us wine. Jackie and Rob parked WAY up my mom’s drive way to talk. Me and Billy still don’t know about what. It was nice to see my mom, she wants me and Billy to come down for the day sometime. So we can all “do something.” Which brings me to my next topic of discussion. Janice’s parent’s gave her a new car. She’s selling her old one to me. Yes it is fairly a piece of shit. But, it should last till I can afford something else. It’s gonna be great, cause she is going to keep it on her insurance, so I’ll only have to pay $75 a month. YES!!!!! If I got my own insurance it would cost so much more than that. More than Rite Aid can afford. Anyway, if I have the car, I’m gonna move up in life. I’m gonna get a new, better job. I got offered a job at a growing entertainment/ advertisment buisness. $1000 a week! But it’s somewhere in the depth of downtown. If I get this car. I’ll be on my way. I’m going to school again soon. Not highschool exactly. A school that’s gonna give me my GED. It’s free, and it’s 4 nights a week. It should be great. The faster I get that diploma, the faster I am in college. I’m finally living my life the way I’ve always wanted to. Everything is piecing together. I have the best boyfriend in the world. I’m comfortable with how I look. I’m comfortable with other peoples opinions, I choose not to care. I’m me. I’m happy. I have my piece of life’s little cake, and I’m eating it to. Not many people have the luxury. I let go of the past. I’m only looking at my future now. And GOD DAMN! I’m going places. I’m done with looking down on myself, I’m done thinking that I can’t do it. I’m done wondering what others think of me. I’m saying what’s on my mind, when it’s on my mind, and I’m taking no mercy if it hurts someone. I’m done with the negativity. COMPLETELY!!! This is how I’ve always wanted to be- Confident - CHECK In Love and Loved in return - CHECK Happy - CHECK Fearless - CHECK Comfortable - CHECK Drug Free - CHECK Well, so far, I have everything I want. Things get added on everyday, and checked off everyday. If I fail, I try harder. I don’t give up. Billy and I talked last night (we always talk) but he asked me if I was bored of him. I told him the truth. NO! I’M NOT! I learn something new about him everyday. I love him more everyday. I could never get bored of someone so far from boring. I have the most amazing boyfriend on the planet. God does he make me fucking happy! Well, I’m done for now. Christina has to do homework. More later..(no guarantees)